#2: Wave Goodbye

"Wave Goodbye" has the series' first great femme fatale nemesis, but not a whole lot else.

Peril Score: 3/10

Punched / Kicked: 3
Grabbed / Bearhugged / Thrown: 1 (blown through doors by Hurricane's storm)
Unmasked: 0
Knocked Out: 0

Success/Defeat Ratio: 1: 1
Tropes: Darcy Gets Clobbered (sort of)

"Walker!  I want to see you in a bikini! Right away!"

And can you blame Darcy's boss?  "Wave Goodbye" is not a great episode, but Darcy does look great in a swimsuit.

Darcy and Rafferty go the beach to see about some "broad" who assaulted a lifeguard.  After the requisite beach silliness, the two encounter a pair of men in suits crawling from the ocean.  The cops draw their guns, and the weird men spray them with goo.  It's gross.

I'm not going to call this surprise attack a defeat... Even though the guys get away.  (It is a slight example of the "Darcy Gets Clobbered" trope.)  They end up meeting with their boss, Dr. Gail Waters, who decides to terrorize the city as the supervillain Hurricane.  She goes to the bank and creates a real storm (even, in a totally gratuitous moment, blowing some woman's top off).  Darcy hears about the situation of her home radio and arrives at the scene as Black Scorpion.

She walks into the storm-soaked bank.  "From where I stand, you're dead in the water," she cockily declares.  Hurricane is unfazed.  "I'm going to take this town by storm," she says, and blows a stream of green air at our heroine.

Black Scorpion bears down and tries to fight back the wind...

But the storm blows her off her feet!

And through the front doors!

She lands on the pavement with a nice "UNGH!"  Hurricane laughs and goes out to gloat at her downed foe.

Black Scorpion isn't done yet, though!  She clambers to her feet and calls out Hurricane's name as she walks away.  Hurricane responds by raining down lightning bolts in our heroine's direction.  She dances around and tries to avoid getting shocked!

So nervous is Black Scorpion that she ends up retreating to the Scorpionmobile.  But Hurricane summons up more weather and ends up trapping BS is her own vehicle!  "Computer release locks!" she cries out.  But the malfunctioning Scorpionmobile can't respond.  It even starts transforming back to Darcy's car!  "No!" she screams.  "No!"  But it doesn't go all the way.

This is, simply put, a huge DEFEAT for Black Scorpion, and a dominating performance from Hurricane.  BS doesn't lay a finger on her foe or her goons.  She is made completely inadequate by Hurricane's weather patterns, to the point where even her retreat goes haywire.

This might be one of the great defeats of the series if the shots were better.  But as you can probably guess by the somewhat lackluster screencaps, the cameraman really didn't do this scene right.  Black Scorpion's rain-dappled chest and Hurricane, looking sexy in a kinky purple costume, are just about the only eye candy we get.

Darcy visits her mechanic friend Argyle afterward to check up on the state of the Scorpionmobile.  Hurricane, meanwhile, takes to the airwaves, and demands 10 million dollars from Mayor Worth to clean up the city's beaches.  Which doesn't seem like the worst expenditure, actually.  The catch is that if the city doesn't pay up, Hurricane will unleash the storm of the century.

(I was complaining about eye candy earlier, and the producers heard, so they included in the episode two pans up Darcy's upper body.  Nice.)

The episode goes on in boring fashion.  So...

Okay.  Darcy's chest plays a prominent role in this episode.  And then Argyle comes by and hooks BS up with the new and improved Scorpionmobile.  With a huge storm raging outside, our heroine prepares for round two against Hurricane.

Her confidence restored, Black Scorpion drives the Scorpionmobile into Hurricane's lair and quickly dispatches her two goons.  The two girls proceed to have the first of the series many catfights.  This one is fairly one-sided, and it favors Black Scorpion.  Hurricane does get a good punch in that spins Darcy around, and follows up with a hard kick that, for a second, brings her opponent to her knee.  Hurricane gets one more kick in, and then it's all Darcy's show.

BS knocks out Hurricane, but Rafferty shows up before she can defuse the storm.  There's the obligatory moment of tension before the two decide to work together.

Rafferty and Darcy blow up the machine, and the explosion's impact makes Darcy go "Unggh."  But the situation otherwise goes exactly as planned.  This is a definite SUCCESS for Black Scorpion.

And then the episode is over.  "Wave Goodbye" is full of filler.  Some of that filler-- like the random scenes of Darcy's cleavage-- is acceptable.  But all the jokes and drama and such means very little peril.  The initial battle with Hurricane means the episode's not a total loss.  But "Wave Goodbye" is finally more ebb than flow.

#1: Armed and Dangerous

The first episode of "Black Scorpion" is hardly its finest, but it provides an able summary-- a primer, even-- of the myriad ways in which Darcy is defeated throughout the series.

Peril Score: 7/10

Punched / Kicked: 3 times
Grabbed / Bearhugged / Thrown: 5 times
Unmasked: 1 time (self unmasking)
Knocked Out: 0

Success/Defeat Ratio: 2 : 3
Tropes: Small Hero, Big Problem; Identity Crisis; Ganging Up

The episode-- and so the series-- begins in weird fashion.  Darcy is dressed as a hooker.  She has a meet cute with Detective Steve Rafferty, who will be the love interest throughout the show.  The two attempt to stop some skinheads trying to rob a weapons store.  When the effort goes haywire, Darcy covertly transforms into Black Scorpion, and we get a taste of why this show will be so great for peril.

Using the magnetic fields on her Scorpionmobile, Black Scorpion disarms her two larger foes.  The magnets also rip away their belts, which allows BS to give one of her "signature" one-liners: "Looks like you got caught with your pants down."  BS then backflips into action and starts fighting.  Immediately, we see a problem.  Because as tough and agile as BS is, she's also about half the size of her enemies.  And it only takes a few seconds for one of the skinheads to grab her.

The skinhead picks her up, and the other guy moves in.  BS quickly kicks the other guy away and headbutts her hugger in the chin.  Now free, BS moves to a dumpster and attacks her foes with a WWE style flying clothesline.  The men go down, but they're not out.  They continue to fight.  Just when it seems like BS is getting an edge, she's pounced on from behind and put in another solid bearhug.  And this time... The guy's got her good and tight.  The music swells ominously.

Rafferty shows up, though, and he's able to help BS out of the jam.  They defeat the skinheads with not too much trouble.  The two heroes then have their first of many sexually-charged face-offs.  As BS goes to help pick up Rafferty, he twists her up and moves in to arrest her.  BS talks her way out of it, though, and end up flipping the detective over her and onto his back.

All in a night's work for the Black Scorpion.  Because BS needed Rafferty's help to escape the clutches of the skinheads, I'm counting this showdown as a DEFEAT and a SUCCESS.  There will be many more battles like this over the course of the series, where BS is placed in a predicament that could easily be a career ruiner, but manages to luck her way out, often thanks to the help of a friend.

We're just getting started, though.  After some ill-advised attempts at "humor," we move to the episode's villain, Firearm, creating havoc at an event for the Mayor.  Darcy and Rafferty-- who actually work in the same department, whoa!-- show up to apprehend the villain.  But Darcy senses this is no ordinary foe and ducks out to transform into Black Scorpion.

Some corny lines later, and BS is going toe-to-toe with Firearm.  BS seems to have an early edge until Firearm snatches her by the arm and flings her across a table.

BS gets back to her feet and the fight goes on.  Firearm chases BS around for a bit, and BS gets a shot in here and there.  Then, showing her rather unorthodox fighting strategy, BS moves to another table, standing on it and practically demanding Firearm to sweep out her legs and put her on her back.  Which he does.

Firearm's had enough of BS though.  "I hate it when men run out on me," BS says.  Especially after having got her butt kicked, I imagine.

Because BS failed to apprehend Firearm, this first encounter must count as another DEFEAT.  Though not knocked out, and never truly physically bested, at no point did BS appear to have control in this fight.  It was conducted on Firearm's terms.

A couple scenes later, a meeting between Darcy and Rafferty at Darcy's house raises the stakes.  "You transferred to my department to chase Black Scorpion?"  Darcy asks.  "No," Rafferty responds, "I transferred here to catch her."  Protecting her secret identity will be crucial for Darcy now that her new partner is someone dead-set on ending her crimefighting career!

There is, of course, the current situation to contend with, too.  It isn't long before Darcy gets another call about Firearm.  She transforms her car into the Scorpionmobile and drives back into action.  The two opponents again engage in one-on-one combat.  Firearm wraps BS in a bearhug and flings her at a chain link fence.  BS bounces off and works her way around a dumpster.  Firearm socks BS in the chin and sends her flying against a telephone pole.

 

Using the pole as cover, BS seems to get an edge against her competitor.  But the tables rapidly turn when BS goes in for an uppercut and Firearm dodges, moving around BS and tying her up in a huge headlock.  BS struggles wildly to get free, but cannot!  She can only watch helplessly as Firearm lifts up his... fire arm... and blows the Scorpionmobile to smithereens.

This is an obvious DEFEAT for Black Scorpion, one of the more humiliating ones of the series.  In second, BS goes from being a superheroine in control to a powerless witness to the destruction of her own vehicle.  When Firearm leaves without fanfare and BS can only look on at the wreckage, we don't have to ask why the fight is over.

Black Scorpion regroups.  She meets with Argyle, BS's technology supplier, and asks for a new car.  She seems confident and unfazed, but you have to wonder if Black Scorpion has ever been through such an ordeal before.  She's had very little success this episode, and her deficiencies size-wise and a fighter have been exposed on multiple occasions.  Nevertheless, she is ready and willing when she gets a call that once again Firearm is terrorizing the city.

  

The penultimate showdown begins with BS confidently declaring, "Surrender or else!"  Firearm replies and fires a missile at her, which BS skillfully avoids.  There's more repartee, and more missile dodging, and then there's an odd gratuitous scene where BS backs up to avoid being trampled by a jeep.

Firearm gets away, but this doesn't seem like a defeat.  BS has a good showing here.  Argyle even picks her up inside the new Scorpionmobile, which BS uses to great effect in the final fight with Firearm.  She drives through Firearm's weapons and again uses her mobile Magnet, this time sucking up Firearm's... fire arm.  "Consider yourself disarmed," she says, unoriginally.  Firearm runs into his base, and BS follows.  "Hold it," he says, producing a remote.  "I'm the one calling the shots now."  Firearm will blow up the city of Black Scorpion doesn't listen.  BS calls him by his real name, prompting Firearm to take off his mask.  Firearm then asks for BS to do the same.  "Take off your mask," he says.

"What?" BS says.  She can't believe what she is hearing.

"Since we're getting to know each other by our first names... It'd be nice if you took your mask off."

He gestures at the remote.  "Or I'm gonna blow it off."

After a bit of hesitation, Black Scorpion complies!  She slowly removes her mask and whips her hair around.  And she looks stunning.

"Ahhhhh," Firearm gloats, "Detective Walker! I should've known.  You truly are your father's daughter."

This amazing scene-- fantastically, not the best unmasking in the series-- brings a lot together. Firearm is able to convince Black Scorpion to unmask herself.  Though she doesn't want to do it, our heroine has no choice but to follow orders.  Then, the villain recognizes Darcy!

Firearm's rival shows up immediately after, putting an end to the villain's fun.  While the villain's attention is turned, BS quickly re-masks herself, not wanting to reveal her identity to anyone else today.  She then proceeds to kick ass, beating up goons, killing Flashpoint, and blowing up his whole operation.  It's a solid, unambiguous SUCCESS for our heroine...

...But it came after an episode of multiple defeats.  Though she's never knocked out, tied up, or really beaten down in "Armed and Dangerous," Black Scorpion demonstrates constantly the sort of recklessness and foolishness and will put her in those positions throughout the series.  Both lowly skinheads and big bads are able to beat her in "Armed and Dangerous," and the bearhug count is extraordinary.  Not a bad way to start a series, I say.

Tropes

Certain perilous themes and motifs appear constantly throughout the Black Scorpion series.

Darcy Gets Clobbered: If Black Scorpion's victory percentage is something like fifty, than Darcy's-- out of costume-- is probably close to zero.  You'd think that Darcy's skill-set as a civilian wouldn't be too drastically different from BS's... But that's not the case.  A costume-less Darcy is often a helpless Darcy.

Choice Episode: Roses are Red, You're Dead

Small Hero, Big Problem: BS has a hard time fending off larger foes.  She's not a particularly imposing woman, and men and women who are bigger and taller seem to be able to get her in bearhugs, chokeholds, and throws with ease.

Choice Episode: No Stone Unturned

Identity Crisis: Many times, BS is unmasked, forced to unmask, or ready to unmask herself.  Some returning characters-- Detective Rafferty and Flashpoint, especially-- seem to have a perverse desire when it comes to finding out BS's secret identity.

Choice Episode: Photo Finish

Behind You!: BS is knocked unconscious from behind.  She'll be talking to someone else and... BOOM!

Choice Episode: He Who Laughs Last

Wardrobe Malfunction: It the midst of a fight, Darcy loses part of her costume.

Choice Episode: Bad Sport

Ganging Up: BS and Darcy have less success when facing multiple attackers at once.

Choice Episode: Zodiac Attack, Part One

Introduction: Why Black Scorpion?

By typical standards, "Black Scorpion" is not a good show.  It's a poorly written, acted, derivative cornball mess.

But by the standards of superheroine peril, "Black Scorpion" is a fantastic show, with every episode featuring some kind of humiliation for the titular heroine, a cocky, sexy, leather-clad vigilante played by the gorgeous Michelle Lintel.

The "badness" of the show occasionally intrudes on the "goodness" of the peril.  Compared to a relatively well-shot show, like the similarly peril-heavy "Wonder Woman," the "scenes" of note in "Black Scorpion" are murky are hard to follow, with lackluster acting and effects.  But the sheer amount of punches, kicks, bearhugs, electrocutions, chokeholds, and unmaskings received by Darcy Walker means that most episodes of "Black Scorpion" have at least one great moment of peril for our heroine.  Some of these moments have even acquired a hollowed status among superheroine peril freaks, a la the "Fausta" sequence in "Wonder Woman."

This blog will be devoted to discuss those and other key moments of peril in "Black Scorpion."  It will meticulously track all the indignities visited on Darcy during her season of crime-fighting.